Life Happens

 

I went to a popular private school in town from the age of 3 until my junior year. My mom was a teacher there so I always had to be on top of my school work. Although I never brought school work home, I always managed to finish it 5 minutes before it was due with at LEAST a B if not an A.  I was always trying to be Little Miss Perfect. I never got into trouble, pretty much always did what I supposed to do and everything always went my way.... Until the day I found out I was pregnant with Hudson.

Everything changed. It happened before we had to go back to school for my senior year and I remember being so scared to tell my parents. What would they think of me? Would they be disappointed? What was I going to do about senior year, let alone college? After telling my mom and dad, who were so so sad about the situation, we had to tell my school. I got kicked out of my high school. I felt abandoned. I had known these people since I was 3 years old. They were like family. Not one single time did I ever get a phone call or a text just asking how I was doing.. I saw star athletes doing drugs and failing out and they got to stay.. But I was pregnant and I couldn't?  I had to switch schools in 3 short days and it was "go mode" from there. 

My parents wanted me to "do the right thing" which turned out to be the totally wrong thing. At 17, Little Miss Perfect married her high school boyfriend, 4 months pregnant. {Funny side note: Kane Brown who is now a country super star sang at my wedding and was a groomsman...}The nick name almost seemed ironic at this point, I went from having everything to my life doing a complete 360. I always knew I was going to keep Hudson, because abortion was never an option for me. It goes against everything I believe in and never even crossed my mind. I switched schools and graduated on time.. actually EARLY! 

My "marriage" that wasn't even a marriage sunk like a ship and fast, I started working night shift at a local hospital in the Postpartum Unit and adulthood practically punched me in the face.. pretty sure I  got KO'd.. It was so tough. I felt like a living zombie. After pulling myself up by my bootstraps, I moved  back home, started to get myself together and figured out who I wanted to be in this world. I didn't have all the nice new things from Pottery Barn like I had dreamed about. I ate off the dollar menu at Taco Bell. I didn't drive some fancy new car and the simple reality was, if I didn't go to work, Hudson and I didn't eat. So I went. Every day. And I began to finally know what it meant to be H A P P Y.  I bought my first car by myself, everything I owned came from Target, and I was broke as a joke but we were finally making it.

The point of this blog isn't to make you feel sorry for me because I don't feel sorry for myself. Hopefully this can shed some light into why I may have this tough demeanor sometimes or the reason it seems one sided. I have been through a lot and I don't have time for trivial bullshit when there are real things happening in this world. Teen pregnancy is totally glamorized in todays society. The fact of the matter is that it isn't glamorous. Hot dang I wish that it was. It's not this wonderful thing where everything goes your way all the time and you never have to get off your butt and work. Thats not it at all..you struggle, you crawl before you learn to walk, you work your ever living butt off and YOU. WILL. SURVIVE. {PSA: Ramen Noodles will become your best friend} 

XOXO,

Mackenzie Edwards